i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
