Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
