the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
