wrigley field is MILF paradise
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
