god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
