No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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