don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
