my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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