isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
