i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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