If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
