So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
