spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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