yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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