you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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