He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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