4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
