He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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