And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize