The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
