She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
