and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
