i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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