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So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
