it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
