You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
