hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We got so high we made milksteak
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
