I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They took my balls.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
