Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
