making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize