did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
