I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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