Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize