69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
