Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
