she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
then he tried to convert me to islam
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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