sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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