You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
