talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
