can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
