Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
