You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
