I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
MIDGETS
????
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
ok first of all what the fuck
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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