need another drink. this is the easiest way
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
