Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
