Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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