this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
