who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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