i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
