It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
