i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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