Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
