ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
