I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Send help, water and tortillas.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
