That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
