She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
