In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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