Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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