Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
