actually, I'm a sock model
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
