You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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