SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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