All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
