If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
