dude i'm inner monologue high
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
