Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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