We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
