dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
