my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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