I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
