she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
