# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
