I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
