life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We left an ass print on the piano.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
