I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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