I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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