I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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