I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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