so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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