READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
